i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
