he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
