can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
