And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
