I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize