We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
