my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
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