I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
