started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
