that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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