I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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