i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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