You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
