The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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