proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
