I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
