Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
