I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
