lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Dignity is for republicans.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
