i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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