If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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