tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
