Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
