i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
