Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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