if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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