who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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