does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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