Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
