I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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