you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
