ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Less talking, more tequila
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
