We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
