White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i love accidental penises.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
