Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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