The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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