In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
