just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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