i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize