we're blogging at a bar
She said her name was "party"
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
