I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
