after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
