if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
