also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
it hurts more in the daytime
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
