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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
