It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
