Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
