Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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