just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
