Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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