I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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