I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
