I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
