one might say we're banned from that church
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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