I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
