Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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