just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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