ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Of course I have a pirate flag
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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