Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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