You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
