he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Never underestimate the power of titties
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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