Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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