I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
