summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Let's paint friendship bongs
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
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