I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
