shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
