Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
