OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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