zippers are such a cool invention
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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