He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
