I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
