Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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