i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
